


The 5 Times Thog Got Captured and the 1 Time Thog Wasn’t (Kinda)

by kappa77



Category: Thrilling Intent (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Superheroes/Superpowers, Fluff and Humor, Hostage Situations, Multi, Polyamory, Rescue Missions, tiweek
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-09
Updated: 2018-01-07
Packaged: 2019-02-12 18:14:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,955
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12965466
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kappa77/pseuds/kappa77
Summary: Thog finds himself having five super-powered partners. They all, at one point or another, rescue him from being a hostage.





	1. Aesling

Thog woke with a splitting headache, which wasn’t that unfamiliar. What was unfamiliar was the rope that had his arms and legs bound as he sat on a metal chair.

That made him wake up a bit faster.

The room he was in was… barely a room, judging by the number of holes in the walls and roof. It was more of a shack in the middle of who knows where, green leaves visible from the holes. A pile of cloth rustled in the corner.

After he’d collected himself, assessing the situation as best he could, he sighed.

 _This is probably the stupidest thing I’ve done._ “Um, excuse me? Who the fuck are you?”

The cloth stood up and turned around, revealing a hunched-over, human-like creature with purple, sagging skin and bloodshot eyes.

“Oh, fuck me, forget I asked.”

Before Thog could say anything else, the creature moved across the room in an instant, suddenly in his face.

It put a hand to Thog’s stomach and as much as Thog squirmed and tried to get away, he was stuck.

“Ooooooh, you’ll be a perfect addition!” It smiles, revealing rotten teeth.

Thog stared back at it, swallowing the bile down. “Ok, look. I just work at an amusement park. I have no idea what I’m doing here-”

“FOOL!” The creature turned away, giving Thog a noseful of the disgusting, decaying smell that clung to the creature. It was back across the shack in an instant, hunched over something, muttering to itself. Thog looked around, desperately trying to find something to use as a weapon, or to free himself so he wouldn’t figure out what this creature wanted with his stomach, but his wrists were tied too tight.

Suddenly, one of the walls burst into dust. The whole building shook as the dust settled, revealing a figure dressed in green, with a purple mask hiding most of their face. Thog tried not to gape, but it was hard not to when he realized he recognizing them from the news. This was the Guardian, a new superhero who had just recently arrived in the city. They kept a low-profile, but the news was notorious for being hard to pick off, so there were a few blurry photos of them running into danger.

The hero turned to look at the weird creature.

“Alright,” she said. “the fuck is going on?”

The creepy guy hunched over and hissed at her.

“No, no, your bits are too weird.”

The Guardian just stared at him. “Alright, we know you’ve behind the attacks, so I’m just going to kill you now.”

The creature hissed as she pulled out a dagger. The creature picked up his drum. Thog stared in helpless horror as the two engaged in combat, The Guardian attacking with her dagger and the creature using some… magic? It was hard to follow the fight when they grew too close for comfort where Thog was still trapped on his chair.

A misplaced dagger slashed through his pants, leaving a decent gash in the cloth. He winced, but no pain followed.

“Watch it!” he shouted.

The Guardian turned to look at him and her eyes widened.

“Thog, what are you doing here?!”

“Wait… Ashe?”

The Guardian ducked and stabbed the creature. It let out a horrifying scream before slumping to the ground, but Thog was too focused on how _his employee was the Guardian._

She rushed to his side and sliced the restraints.

“You’re the Guardian?” he asked, still hung up about it.

“I… surprise?”

“Is this why you keep taking sick days?”

“I, um, yes?”

He could feel his head spinning. “I need a drink.”

“Want to join me? The rets of us know this great place.”

Thog stared at her. “There’s more of you?”

“Yeah, who do you think was fighting the giant skeleton downtown?”

‘There was a skeleton?”

The ground trembled beneath their feet.

“Looks like there still is,” she commented before leaving out of the hole she came from. Thog followed, dumbfoundedly.

The rest of the day passed in a blur, watching his coworker and her friends take down a ten-feet-tall skeleton that was wreaking downtown. He was then introduced to The Outrider and Mr. Protagonist (though Ashe assured him that wasn’t his real name nor is superhero name).

He was then invited to have a drink with them which, honestly was the best thing anyone had said to him all day.

As he and Ashe sat side by side in the tiny booth together, with Gregor and Markus on the other side, he clamped down on the question of whether or not it was a date.


	2. Gregor

Whatever had happened that day with the creepy person and the drum, Thog had made the decision the next day to quit his shitty job at the amusement park. It was about time, anyway. His boss nearly fired him for being kidnapped.

In job hunting, he found the local news station who needed an intern. It was a paid internship and Thog, knowing how to make a decent cup of coffee (despite hating the stuff), applied. One interview later, he was hired.

The job was pretty normal. Make coffee, type of copies, spreadsheets, whatever the big-name reporter didn’t want to do. Some times he was even dragged out into the field to report on a field good story or a random story when it was a slow news day.

(He still kept in touch with Ashe, who still had her cover job at the park. It all was still a weird concept to wrap his head around.)

For once, things were looking up for Thog.

Then the… shrimp attacked.

It had originated from a small group of islands off the coast of the mainland, awakened by the trio of superheroes who were dispatched to kill the sea serpent harassing boats. A reporter followed them, documenting their journey, meeting new people, solving riddles, and going into a prison. The whole city watched with awe as the trio made their way through the islands. Thog felt bad for the poor reporter.

Then the islands and mainland shook with the power of the monster’s roar.

The mood instantly changed, people screamed, running away from the coast as it cut through the water like a bullet. He was battered around in the sea of people, unable to move on his own without getting caught up in the crowd. Finally, the crowd thinned out and Thog was able to move on his own.

A blast of hot air in his face made him freeze. He looked up and saw the sea serpent-shrimp monster, staring him right in the face. Its red frills fanned out to frame its purple face.

“Damn you’re ugly,” he mumbled in shock, unable to do anything but stare back.

Its eyes squinted at him and before he could react, Thog found himself encircled in its tail. It took off down the street, weaving in and out of alleys, dragging Thog along. He tried to push himself out of its grasp, but the monster just tightened its hold on him.

They stopped in the downtown area, right outside a park. Citizens were still running away in fear, but a few brave ones had formed a crowd nearby to try and see what exactly happened.

If Thog wasn’t fruitlessly trying to escape the mosnter, he’d roll his eyes.

The monster slowed, curling around Thog and staring at him.

“Oooooh no, you better not be feeling hungry because I’m, uuuuuh… too lean?”

The monster just stared back.

“I really hope you’re not hungry. ‘Devoured by shrimp-monster’ was never how I thought I’d go.”

Their staring contest was interrupted by the shouts from behind. They both turned to see a man, flying at top-speed, propelled only by his boots.

As he streaked past, they heard him yelling, “IT WOOOOOOORKS, MARKUS!!”

A few seconds later, the trio came running in, Markus with his cape constantly fluttering behind him despite thee being no wind, Gregor with his pole arm and resplendent pose, and Ashe with her constant “this could’ve been handled way better” expression.

“The fuck was that?” Thog shouted to them.

“Kyr! He’s new!” Markus shouted back.

“But eager!” Gregor chimed in.

Thog gave a slight nod. “Ah, I see… NOW HELP!”

The creature roared, nearly deafening Thog, as the trio fell onto the creature and he could barely comprehend what was happening, between his friend’s quick movements and being whipped around like a ragdoll in the monster’s tail. Kyr joined in after recovering from the boots incident, attacking the monster with several different inventions.

What Thog could see, clear as day, was Gregor shooting through the air like a brilliant comet down on the monster’s head.

The monster thrashed around, flinging Gregor across the street into the building. As the monster struggled against the pain, his rail loosened around and Thog found himself back on firm ground. He ran up beside the young hero. Gregor struggled to stand on his feet, leaning on his glaive.

As soon as he saw Gregor, Gregor smiled real big, despite the busted lip and eye quickly swelling shut.

“Thog! Are you okay?”

He slowed down, standing in shock in front of the hero.

“Jesus, Gregor, are _you_ okay?”

“Of course! I just want to make sure you are!”

Thog felt his chest tighten as Gregor beamed at him, a line of blood falling into his teeth.

“Come on,” Thog said, as quietly over the sounds of the rest of the group fighting, “let’s get you out of here.”

Thog helped Gregor stand, looping an arm around his waist. He started off to walk toward safety, where the crowd of people were looking on along with a select few reporters who hadn’t run away in fear.

As he looked back, he saw Markus and Ashe loudly acting out some sort of small play, and with wide arm movements and exaggerated words, lured the monster away from the chaos, into a park.

The video of them at the gazebo finishing the play with a kiss, quickly went viral. They all watched it, sitting on the edge of Gregor’s hospital bed, huddled around Markus’ phone (surprisingly not shattered despite having it on him during the fight).


	3. Kyr

Thog got a raise after that and was promoted to a pop culture reporter, which usually meant “superhero activity.” Everything from the latest heist foiled by them to what outfit Mr. Protagonist was sporting this week (Sparkles. It’s always sparkles.) Definitely not hard-hitting stuff, and the snickers of his coworkers when he passed by weren’t soft by any definition, but Thog didn’t care. It was better than the fucking amusement park.

 Markus found the irony of Thog’s job too funny, and in retaliation, Thog made sure to get his bad side throughout the entire next fight Thog covered. Markus wasn’t laughing anymore after he saw the footage.

His next big assignment he got a couple weeks after the shrimp-thing (which he still saw whenever he visited Ashe’s apartment), he found himself standing outside the amusement park he worked at, filling in for a reporter who was sick. Some brave bastard who’d gotten tired of working at the amusement park blabbered to the local newspaper, The Truth, about the shady dealings the management did and now the news stations wanted to get in on the juicy details.

So, under an overcast sky, he walked backwards through the amusement park, leading the small camera crew through Meadshire. His muscle memory clicked in as he pointed to various rides covered in lead paint, with creaking structural supports and card board trees dotting the walkways. How it only got out now that it was a shit-show was a miracle.

He and the camera crew were standing in front of a “petting zoo,” filled with more cardboard sheep and two real sheep, when Thog caught movement out of the corner of his eye. He turned, and saw a group of “knights,” with armor spray painted gray, lead by a man in a large collar and a ridiculous hat.

“Guildmaster?”

The man stopped, forcing his entourage to stop as well. “Thog? What are you doing here?”

“I’m exposing this piece of shit place for what it really is.”

“Well, that would be terrible for PR.”

“It would.”

“And you know that’s my job, Thog.”

“I know.”

The two stared down each other. Thog found himself so focused on trying to kill the Guildmaster with his stare, that he didn’t notice the “knight” walking up behind him until it hit him.

-0-0-0-0-

When Thog woke up, the pain in the back of his head flared, clouding his vision and making everything go fuzzy. It took his a few minutes for everything to focus. The light from several monitors was the first thing he noticed. Monochrome feeds of the park flicked automatically from the cafeteria, to the petting zoo, to various rides, over and over again in an endless loop, interrupted by the line of static running down the screen.

The second thing he noticed was Karen standing in front of the monitors, looking put-together as ever.

“Ah, so you’re awake,” she said, not looking from the screens.

A flare of pain from where he’d been knocked out made him groan. "You are the one bad guy I'm not surprised with."

Karen turned to level a glare at him. If he wasn’t already bound to the metal chair, he would’ve tried to shrink away from her. As much as he hated her, old habits die hard and that glare from Karen usually meant you were going to die.

She turned back to the monitors. "I'm impressed Thog, that may mean you've improved."

Thog paused, letting the words sink in. "Was that a-"

"If by improving you mean you quit your steady job and join a local news network who is obsessed with a band of vigilantes, then yes, improvement has been made.”

He let the silence fill the room for a bit, not having a response. He glanced around as Karen continued at the monitors. There was one window with the blinds closed, a single light shining over him, a door to his left, and a grate that kept blowing cold air on his ankles.

When the sound of static started getting to him, he asked, "So, what are you going to do with me?"

"Well, I'll wait till your friends arrive to save you, capture them, then torture them till you agree to come back, and they can join the other slaves."

Yep, she was the one bad guy he expected. "So, what, another fucking day at Meadshire?"

"Are you really in the place to joke? Besides, you should know, it's just business.”

“I think you and I went to different colleges if that’s what you call business.”

She looked back at him. “You know, I was willing to let you go. To let you galivant with the superheroes and media and whatever it is you’re doing now. But you can’t come back here, wanting to get a story, and not expect some retribution.”

Before he could respond, a crackling from the panel the monitors were attached to interrupted, followed by the Guildmaster’s voice. “Boss! There’s people heading for you!”

Karen pressed a button. “Are you sure it isn’t sheep.”

“Yes boss, I’m sure-”

“Really? Because last tie you said that, it was sheep.”

“Boss! I’m sur-!”

With a loud crash, the window was broken. Markus, Ashe, and Gregor climbed through, all brandishing weapons.

“Get. Away. From. Our Thog,” Ashe growled.

“How touching,” Karen said, completely monotone.

She pressed a button on the panel and guards burst through the door. Ashe bolted toward them, going for the neck. As she connected with the guards, a huge plume of colorful smoke erupted from the vents. Blue, pinks, greens, and so much glitter exploded, coating every surface of the room. Thog tried to hide his face from the explosion, but he was still blinded by the explosion of color and glitter and something he couldn’t place.

Thog coughed, letting out a plume of blue. “What was that?”

Amidst the fighting in front of him, he felt someone tugging on the restrains. Something sharp was put between his hands, and soon his hands were free, followed by his legs.

“Pure. Unadulterated. Fun,” the person behind him replied.

He came out from behind and in the haze of colorful powder, Thog could make out the face of Kyr, the engineer the trio made friends with on the island. He’d been at Markus’ apartment some times when Thog came over. He had no idea he counted as superhero now, but Thog wasn’t worried about semantics now.

He coughed and more glitter and _fun_ came out. “Should I be concerned?”

“No, Markus said you’d be unaffected by the fun.”

“… I’m not going to question why that made sense.”

From the fight, they could both hear Markus shout something about a temporary retreat.

“Well,” Kyr said, “Let’s head out!”

Thog tried to push himself out of the chair, but his legs were static and his knees jelly. He sat back down. "I don't think I'll be walking anytime soon."

"Well you're lucky I'm here; Kyr, number one strongest man ever!”

With a claim like that, Thog braced himself to hit the floor as Kyr stooped dwn to pick him up in a bridal-style carry. Surprisingly, he wasn't dropped as Kyr ran out of the room, left over glitter and fun swirled around his cape. As he shifted Thog in his arms, Thog could feel Kyr’s muscles underneath. He bit his lip, trying not to blush.

"Now, rocket boots!"

Thog’s eyes widened as he heard the sound of engines starting up.

"Oh, fu-"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, Colvin runs a newspaper called The Truth. I couldn't help it.
> 
> And Thog is gay for tall men with muscles. And any other type of man. Or woman. Thog is very pan, okay?

**Author's Note:**

> Talk Thrilling Intent with me at kappa776.tumblr.com


End file.
